Plague Songs - Anchorites / by Rich Hobbs

Now listen. So this wanker, right, 

Says “You must all be anchorites! 

Stay in! Watch ‘Casablanca’, right? 

Or you’ll all die point blank!” Oh right! 

So we all became anchorites, 

In our own Lubyankas, right? 

Observing our own danker rites 

To help outsmart this canker, right? 

Like thresholding clapped thanks. Yeah, right. 

Then, when we’d all been anchorites 

Once more he jawed, this wanker, right? 

And drawled, “My favourite crank, all right, 

Says you’re all thick as planks! Ah, right! 

And now you must all hanker, right, 

For freedom! So up-anchor! Right!” 

He didn’t add that bankers’ right 

To growing assets shrank all right 

The longer we were anchorites. 

But Wealth will Death outrank! Yeah! Right! 

They need their bleeding shanks, all right? 

So when the cell door clanks, all right, 

The outside world’s the tank! Oh. Right.

And so we all stayed anchorites 

Inside or out. It stank all right, 

But try and get your rancour right 

And dream how we’ll outflank the right 

Once we’re massed ranks of anchorites, 

Our hanks of hair all lank, all right, 

Once we amass as anchorites, 

A mass of anchorites. Yeah, right. 

A mass of anchorites.