Come on, chaps! Let’s rename this land Banarnia!
Just one wardrobe away to that lamp post!
What the snow hides is obscene
In the Realm of the White Queen
That magic country ruled by dreams of ghosts
Push past those mothy costumes to Banarnia,
Frost glistens on the statues every night!
Intellectual callisthenics
Disguise our lords’ eugenics
As they chomp Arbeit Mach Frei’s Turkish Delight
Just click your heels three times - you’re in Banarnia!
Flying monkeys fill the skies, and no one’s certain
Which one of these is pervier:
Bananas getting curvier
Or wizards fiddling behind the curtain
Mists roll away and there it is - Banarnia
So historic its past just keeps getting pastier!
Our weak sun is getting shinier
As everyone gets whinier,
And moanier and bonier and nastier!
Crashlanding in Tibet? You’ll find Banarnia!
That long lost valley of eternal youth
Where nobody grows old
In our care homes, so I’m told
Our secret being, never tell the truth.
Climb that magic beanstalk to Banarnia!
Where giants stand on stooping midget’s shoulders,
The golden goose’s eggs are guano,
And we drink Americanos
While everything around us slowly moulders
Fall down the rabbit hole, next stop’s Banarnia!
Once we were big, and now we’re very small
But because we once fought Hitler
We can’t see we’re getting littler,
Cards and jokers tell us we’re so tall
Jump through the looking glass - you’re in Banarnia!
That crazy place where all is back to front!
And you can make up your own truth
Lynch the wimps demanding proof
Stirred by a farting walrus’s each grunt!
The blue birds sing, there’ll always be Banarnia!
Where we’re sat on our big fat white bums
Thinking we’re Queen Titania!
So fuck off, Michel Barnier!
Banarnia! Where Christmas never comes!