Then after that there came the sudden rage
For Pandemic Nostalgia,
The way you get to dampen down
The trauma from the stuff that happened next.
And in its wake the glut of Lockdown Movies,
A self-creating genre
Shot quickly, sating the demand
Of a shyly optimistic national mood
With comedies of family claustrophobia,
Sex farces where ingenus
Broke lockdown, bedding bored old broads
And melodramas featuring brave carers,
Their love interest a handsome young key worker
Who falls to the contagion
And nearly dies, but in the end
They defy social distancing and kiss,
Or else action adventures where a maverick
Government adviser
Thwarts plots to kill the lots of us
By cackling ministers in tall black hats.
These films helped mould the following generation
Watching weekend telly
When the current had the strength
Still stuck indoors, trapped by the murderous weather
Despite low production values and crap acting,
Bad scripts, poor locations,
These pictures grabbed the Zeitgeist’s throat.
As for the extras, they simply dug them up.